If you have ever wondered why a date went south, or why you never got a callback; take a moment and think about what you said to your date that night. Not with your mouth, but with your body. Body language is our subconscious communicating our animal wants to our potential partner. Common uses of this include lipstick, which sends signals of sexual willingness, or men fiddling with their hair, grooming themselves for their woman. But some gestures are more subtle, and can take a experienced eye to catch.
Eye contact can be crucial to letting your date know that you are interested in them, and what they have to say. Eyes can communicate a variety of messages, interest, disinterest, boredom, nervousness.
Eyebrows can be just as important, even without you realizing. Everyone in the world reacts with the same eyebrow gesture when they meet someone they are attracted to. A quick lift and fall of the eyebrows can go by unnoticed but can also give you an insight if you notice it.
If you find yourself becoming nervous, shifting your gaze, or staring elsewhere in the room – remember that you might come across as disinterested and aloof. Alternatively, strong eye contact can send flirtatious and sensual signals that can encourage a second date.
Which way is your body pointing? The same place as your eyes, or towards the wall? You may not generally pay attention to which way your body faces, but it can be very telling as to whether or not you are interested in your date.
Mirroring movements, can send the signal that your are on the same page as one another. Nodding at appropriate places while they are talking shows synchronization, and that can suggest sexual compatibility. Crossed arms, at the opposite end, block off any connection and make you unapproachable.
Overall though, don’t spend to much time fussing and fidgeting about your body, or you may come across as bored and distracted. Just relax and see where the evening goes.
The hands draw attention, which is why we use them to flirt so often. A woman touches her hair, or sits chin in hand with fingers brushing her lips. Men stroke their ties or lapels, or stand hands on hips to suggest body confidence.
We often don’t realize the flirtatious gestures we use to signal our potential mates, but if you take notice of theirs, it can help tell you if your date finds you as attractive as you find them. Moreover, it can help you train yourself to show openness and attraction to avoid him thinking you don’t like him, just because you’re nervous and tend to fidget in restaurants.
Next time you find yourself puzzling over a San Diego date that seemed ‘too good to be true’, or a match that just ‘gave you the creeps’ take a moment to ask what their body was saying to you – and how yours responded.